In all my years of triumph and despair, there was one feeling that has been incorporated in every relationship and every day of my existence that made itself known in sound and heart. It is love. The definition has always been disputed by those who know what they’ve found to be true through their own life’s journey and experiences. But love is ambiguously indefinite. It will be shown through acts of kindness, physical contact and even in ways that appear to the naked eye to be harsh (what we call tough love). And as defined by many of the world’s deities, love is patient, kind and never puffed up with pride. With all these definitions of what love is and is not, no wonder people get confused. So with everyone running on different pages of what REAL love is, how do you draw yourself close to it and recognize its truest form?
It took me years to realize the many different sides of love, and I’m still learning. So many of us have a distorted view of what we believed was true love, but in many cases, it was the biased view of what our parents and predecessors showed us, which, in past generations, was more of a tough love, do as i say not as I do, eat this and like it kind of love. It was what they knew and what their parents and grandparents knew. For those of us who were raised in dysfunctional environments, the search for real and true love is about as easy as finding a missing earring in a stadium. There’s so much space to cover during your search, and you just might pick up someone else’s lost earring or bracelet in the process.
Well, the first thing I like to do is pray. Most of us know all too well that when you “give it to God to handle” that results are bound to close in quickly. But sometimes that eery feeling of discontent feels so overbearing that you feel like you might bust a gut waiting for some sort of release. In an age where money, work, relationships and even family is so uncertain, it’s tough to hold onto your faith when it calls for a pretty strong dose of it. I’ll be the first to admit that there are times when it’s easier to feel the fear of the unknown and the future than trust that everything will be as it will be. I’ve even felt guilty that my questions about things I can’t control are taboo and it’s not okay to feel that way. That it might even be considered an insult to God that I’m not trusting in him to handle my business..or rather, his business.